Young, Unmarried, Childless (YUC)

For me, meeting Prince Charming wasn’t going to happen on the World Wide Web.

8245593810_db9c7e3f6b_zI often hear my mother, in my head, “When can I expect grandbabies? I’m getting old, you know?” Somehow the sound of her voice resonates when I find myself walking pass a beautiful couple cooing at Baby #3, while their Child #1 and Child #2 neatly-coiffed, brown-eyed, perfectly dressed children follow in tow.

My response was, at one time, “I love my independence; freedom! No diapers, no late night feedings, no responsibility to anyone except to myself.” It’s been four, five, six…ten LONG years later since my mom started her determined inquisition and still no baby, no ring and no baby daddy. Even after a decade, Mom grew weary. And, I can only assume that she, like me, is waiting for “him” to pop the question.

I admit that I appreciate a home without the pitter patter of little feet, at this time in my life; however, I am reluctant to say that I’m completely happy. I want it all. But, when you’re already juggling a career and finances are a circus act itself, who has time to settle down for a family. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. I’m deathly afraid of becoming just another baby mama. I don’t care to be Super Mom, and I’m not ashamed to say it. Who sets out to become a single mother, only to raise children alone? In addition, my work schedule is pretty hectic. So busy, that I could honestly kill a goldfish. Unless, I hit the lottery or meet Mr. Warbucks, I don’t want to compromise where my heart is, at the moment.

Dating older men is out of the question. Sugar daddies is just a candy; not someone I want escorting me to the company picnic. “Awww. Is that your dad?” The water cooler at the office would surely runneth over with jokes and quips about my date, “Grandpa.” I like my steaks seasoned, not my companion. “Men can have babies at any age,” they say. And, my response, although rude, is honest and forthright, “Depends and Dementia can also happen at your age.” Thus, he would virtually become a baby, himself.

And, then there’s the Down Low, I’m-not-gay-anymore, Multiple-baby-mama-having, Penitentiary lifers, Self-hating, Deprecating, Already-taken, Sleeping-on-your-best friend’s couch, Habitually unemployed, Misogynistic [*sigh]…selection of “prospective” males. The window of opportunity for a blissful marriage seems to be closing right before my eyes.

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I took matters into my own hands, once. I donated $24.95 to match.com, only to leave the site prematurely. Nope! I didn’t give it a chance. For me, meeting Prince Charming wasn’t going to happen on the World Wide Web. You choose a photo then pray that the the person in the pic matches the specs in his bio. It’s creepy-esque; like picking a suspect out of a photo lineup hoping you got the “right guy.”

Or, like buying a car from an online dealership. You’d never know if you had picked a lemon until your first oil change. BUT, I DIGRESS. Although it would surely lack the wonderful “first meet” story, I’d rather take my chances bumping into Mr. Right outside a nightclub. Ugh! So unromantic.

Yet, I forge on. At least, I’m still young…ish.  Right?

#ibedamned

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27 thoughts on “Young, Unmarried, Childless (YUC)

  1. When the time is right it will happen, until then work on YOU! I did the dating site thing, but only because I wanted to meet new people and get free food and drinks (don’t judge me). But then I met an awesome guy and 10 months later I was married. It will be 5 years this September! All I’m saying is focus on you boo and ignore the people whispering in your ear about the kids and the husband!

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  2. This. All of this. I am in the same situation. I tried online dating, but nothing positive happened. My family continues to ask about a husband and children. I just give the #SideEye and keep it moving. LOL. I will let life happens as it comes. If I find a man, great. If not, I’m going to be OK. 🙂👍🏾

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  3. Girl, we in the same boat. Like I am really starting to think that it’s me, not them. But not in bad way. I am thinking that I haven’t found the person for me…that person needs to be very specific in order for me want to be around them for a long time.

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  4. HA! Great post. After a certain age, we all tend to question (if we are single) when is it going to happen? People always say be patient but as time goes on, it’s like damn! Come on, already.

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  5. Lol too funny! But it’s true! It’s scary out there and I think that having good insight into the type of person you are, what you want, and what you can realistically handle is very respectable! It will keep you from being with a man you don’t need to be with just to be stuck with him in your life for 18 years because you had a baby. Nothing wrong with being real with yourself and weeding out the rejects.

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  6. Lol. This was a good read. I remember those questions coming from my parents. Sometimes when I brought someone around. They always liked my best friend though and would ask about him. Again sometimes in front of a guy is brought over. Luckily I married him. But it happened on our own timing and not theirs.

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  7. Funny enough, I actually did meet my husband at a nightclub. I had sworn off of dating after a really bad breakup, and it happened…but if we hadn’t worked out, I’d be on eHarmony! I always tell people that true love happens when you’re not looking for it.

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  8. You are so right…it’s sad! It’s hard when you envision a certain life (perhaps with a baby and husband) and have no idea how that will come to fruition; especially when you are a career minded independent woman. I wish you all the luck in the world!

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  9. This made me laugh. I heard the same thing from my mom for years on end. I just never wanted to get married and definitely did not want any kids. She thought l was cursed. Take your time. I found the right one when l wasn’t looking and definitely glad l didn’t marry the previous 2 that asked ;-).

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  10. OMG THIS IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE! My motto was ” I can’t even buy shoes online and you want me to find a husband there?” Till it all changed. My mom made me feel like I was Bridget Jones at 24, so by the time I turned 31 she (and I) had long given up. However I made the faux pas (and so far best decision ever) of falling for my boss. Though to be honest he fell for me first ;). Surely you know what its like for women in Media (a whole other post!!). You do well and you are constantly accused of sleeping your way to the top. When I actually did fall for my boss the first order of business was to quit. I did and do not regret it. It was time, I felt and the right decision for me to do the romantic gesture and give it all up for love. We moved in together and now we have an accidental (I swear totally and completely. I was planning on babies for maybe at least another two years) baby on the way. And boy has it been HARD. Complications to the point that I have been for the past two months a stay at home future mom on modified bed rest. As active as I have been my whole life this staying home thing is my worst nightmare. It has made me take a deep and hard look at myself and I can say at least, if the world ended tomorrow, no regrets bitches! I would do it all over again.
    In due time and most importantly WITH THE RIGHT PERSON you will make the decisions you want to make. I waited a long time and it took a while for him to show up in my life but so far so good. Good things take a while to cook up 😉

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    • So many questions, so little time. 🙂 I love the line, “I can’t even buy shoes online and you want me to find a husband there?” Patience is truly a virtue, and with bated breath, I still wait. Take a load off and subscribe to my blog. I think I can find enough topics to fill nine months worth of time waiting for the bambino.

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